I don't really know where to begin.
This living in sin is heavy on a heart
that can't possibly bear the weight

of counter-clauses and
(you know this line)
countless figure eights.

Maybe if I repeat myself
it'll be more than just letters.

But who am I to judge?

fishie

There's this feeling I get when you're falling asleep,
your body slowly giving more of its weight to my shoulder.
Some distant, ancient part of me
that has broken
begins to mend again.

Something about you feels right.
I have never found it
anywhere else,
and I hope to find it again.

Do you know
that I have compared
every fish I've met in the ocean
to the way you made me feel?

I miss you.

prose will bend you over a desk and fuck the shit out of you

I take my time jumping to the thickest parts of the ice, because if I don't then I'll fall right through and drown. The only problem is that there are only two chunks thick enough to stand on, but they're on opposite sides of the goddamn lake. I don't think I can jump that far. And where the hell did I leave my coat?

I wanted to hug you so bad. I don't think I can jump that far.

cervical displacement? (edits)

I am alone today
and it hurts.
Being alone

is not [like] a slow and crooked smile
as I had once observed
in a moment of clarity.
My stomach is telling me
that it fears cervical displacement
and nine hundred and thirty two baby chickens agree.
She says they're happy.
I hope she's right.
At least they're not alone.
Being alone

is not [like] a slow and crooked smile
as I had once observed
in a moment of clarity.
Aren't you supposed
to write about the things
that bother you?
This bothers me.

Receiver

"Do you feel that?"
she asked the hair behind
his ear with
her breath.

"Feel what?"
the other end
of the receiver
crackled in response.

"Distance,"
her tongue answered,
sliding
over cartilage to take
the lobe
between her teeth.

"I don't know what you mean,"
the receiver said,
inflecting its crackle like
its statement was more
of a question than any
statement could be.

I hate you.

You should have left me,
broken and undercover.
Maybe I could have saved this,
restored a martyred lover.

Instead you came back crying
for a shoulder and a kiss.
You goddamn fool I loved you
before you walked away like this.

Now I break before the dawn
under the weight of words so grey,
and I'll pull on my plastic smile
that lies so easily to your face.

For when I curl up next to you,
burying my face upon your chest,
and fall asleep to door number three-
which option- Not the best.

Now I know reality
and the truth that it foretells.
You should have walked away that day
and left me to my hells.

Purgatory, a quiet hearth,
and Hell a sauna steamed.
Because having all of you,
yet none of this,
is a nightmare, not a dream.

If Only

If only she were dressed in white
and held her mother's hand too tight.
And smiled at the bumblebees,
and asked for, "A cookie please."

Now she wears her skinny jeans
and falls in love with piercings.
Ink just below an olive tone
shows mother where the years have gone.

"I'm not a baby, mama,"
she smiles at the phone.
"I need to live my life now,
I promise I'll come home."